Happy New Year (not a repeat of last year’s blog in case you’ve got a great memory!) by David Calmonson

Wishing all CTRM readers, their families, pets, and servants a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2019.

I’m entering 2019 full of trepidation. Brexit. U.S./China tariff war. Global Warming (not man-made Gary, don’t you worry about it when your home gets flooded or blown away or burnt down). Train fare increases (U.K. only); stock market turbulence (global); Liverpool still ahead of City in the English Premiership (not for long hopefully); United winning (also not for long hopefully!) becoming a grandparent (yes I know you all think I’m far too young for that, I really shouldn’t have got married at age 12) to name but a few things that are keeping me awake at night.

The issue that is really stopping me getting my beauty sleep (not that any sleep is needed for that of course) is my lack of New Year resolutions. I wonder, does anyone make them anymore? I was playing bridge the other night in my usual weekly ‘boys’ game (average age ~64.7) and one of the regulars (let’s call him Tony – as that is actually his name) told me he was having a dry January. Ha! Living in Manchester…some chance. Then I started to pour the whiskey…I should explain that ‘bridge’ is a metaphor for drinking single malt / Irish** / bourbon or any other sort of the amber nectar (apologies to my Australian colleagues but this does NOT refer to Fosters…do they still brew that wonderful stuff??).

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Tony said I’ll have a soft drink. Well, you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife (what on earth does that expression even mean?? Have you ever tried getting a knife and trying to slice through a molecule of CO2? Mind you, with all the global warming around these days (sorry Gary, I’ve done it again) maybe you could?) Yes – Tony meant he had actually given up alcohol for a WHOLE month. Even a 31 day-long month. The guy needs locking up (then he could get his hands on much stronger stuff than Glenfiddich – aren’t drones a wonderful invention…unless you are flying from Gatwick, I guess).

**I’m not sure if after March 29th 2019 we will have access to Irish whiskey anymore. I have started stockpiling it together with Penicillin, petrol (quite dangerous really) and ComTech’s new CTRM sourcebook as I couldn’t imagine running out of those, life would be too unbearable.

So one out of four of us had made a new year resolution – and was (at least on January 2nd) sticking to it. Needless to say, we did our best to un-resolve him by classic methods such as telling him we had no soft drinks and there was still a localized hosepipe ban.

So what resolutions should we be making as dedicated CTRM professionals?

Get in shape. We could improve our curve generation methodology.

Stop procrastinating. Difficult when your CTRM system is so slow – maybe it’s time to invest in a new more modern system?

Improve your concentration and mental skills. Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say here…

Become more active. So do more exchange trades maybe?

Become more polite. Stuff that for a game of soldiers!

Get more quality sleep. Probably means spending longer in the office waiting for the old CTRM to do the end of day reports

Spend more time with the people that matter. That’s your boss, your board of directors and your clients (definitely not family and friends…)

Learn a new language. Java? I guess my Fortran & CPM is a bit old hat now…

Learn how to defend yourself. That also relates to your boss, your board of directors and your clients!

Start remembering important dates. Your boss’s birthday; when the support contract needs renewing; when your PPA expires etc.

Start being more creative. This is more relevant to back office billing staff

Stick to the good healthy habits you’ve developed. A good idea is to develop none, then this an easy one

Make sure you ‘like’ my blogs! OK, maybe that’s a bit much of a stretch – but anyway, I hope you all have a great 2019. Most importantly, a healthy one.



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